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Geostorm

Aymen Saqib
Dec 3, 2017
2 min read

Rating: 4/10

Directed by Dean Devlin

Starring

Gerard Butler as Jake Lawson

Jim Sturgess as Max Lawson

Abbie Cornish as Sarah Wilson

Alexandra Maria Lara as Ute Fassbinder

Not often does Hollywood recognize climate change but when it does, it isn’t in the most convincing manner. Dean Devlin’s planetary disaster directorial debut “Geostorm” is equivalent to that hour long call to tech support which condenses down to the standard advice, “Have you tried turning it off and then on again?”

Geostorm actually has a crafty premise; after a chain of unprecedented natural disasters, Jake and team design a sophisticated system of satellites, Dutch-Boy, to control world-wide weather. But the best that the director could do to Dutch-Boy is to wreck it. And then shoot Jake into space to fix the issue. While he’s at it, he also discovers the government’s conspiracy behind Dutch-Boy’s malfunction and tells Max, his brother, to sort things out on Earth before a global Geostorm wipes out everything.

So what is this movie about? It’s a political thriller which accommodates some natural calamities off and on, meanwhile there are two brothers whose long standing family rivalries briefly get in the way of saving the world but they eventually get their stuff together. But all I’m wondering is where the promised epic disaster movie is?

Don’t get me wrong; the promised tornadoes, lightening, windstorms, tidal waves do hit the screen but they are very lifeless. Adding to that, it all happens only in the final half of the movie, which is a bit too late for the audience to care (since they’ll probably be asleep.) During the first half of the movie everyone is just talking about the impending danger. Nobody’s there for the suspense. If the movie is marketed as a disaster movie, then it should follow through.

Spending a worldwide metrological catastrophe with Gerald Butler isn’t the most exciting thing in the world as Hollywood has given us a taste of Liam Neeson and even Dwayne Johnson in times of massive action. But we don’t have an option here. Butler with his least charming self, (of questionable) American accent and a regular avoidance to shaving is the only man standing between us and the disastrous Geostorm. Memorably, he yaps his way, shouting “this is Sparta” in audiences faces throughout the action scenes. But when it comes to the slightest expression of sentiments he brings as much emotion to the screen as a damp sponge.

By disaster movie standards, Geostorm is unconvincing. It’s short on thrills, keeps you waiting for the razzle dazzle mayhem, and when the finale filled with urban destruction does hit the screens, it’s unmoving and quite frankly a bit absurd. The God forsaken things that happen: being melted under extreme temperatures, being frozen alive, getting crushed under an airliner makes you wonder whether these are all preferable alternatives to rewatching this film.

If you liked Geostorm, you gotta check out 2012, Day After Tomorrow and Armageddon which somewhat cater to the same outlandish ideas as that of Geostorm but their tone, pacing and performance of actors is much superior to that of this slop.